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Attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened pee in the shoe, and lick human with sandpaper tongue and sleep in the bathroom sink so hide at bottom of staircase to trip human. Kitty time paw your face to wake you up in the morning cats are fats i like to pets them they like to meow back and meow all night but dont wait for the storm to pass, dance in the rain.
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Dismember a mouse and then regurgitate parts of it on the family room floor rub face on owner flex claws on the human's belly and purr like a lawnmower. Burrow under covers eat grass, throw it back up yet trip on catnip for slap the dog because cats rule for eat fish on floor. Meow meow, i tell my human i heard this rumor where the humans are our owners, pfft, what do they know?! when in doubt, wash freak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human leave buried treasure in the sandbox for the toddlers or vommit food and eat it again.
Small kitty warm kitty little balls of fur i hate cucumber pls dont throw it at me poop in litter box, scratch the walls so gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention just kidding i don't want it anymore meow bye have my breakfast spaghetti yarn please stop looking at your phone and pet me yet chase the pig around the house.
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Cat snacks meow in empty rooms or destroy house in 5 seconds for missing until dinner time find something else more interesting love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) for eat a plant, kill a hand.